Coparenting Boundaries
If you’ve ever found yourself re-writing a text ten times, dreading the doorbell at handover, or giving in to “just one more change” to the schedule because it feels easier than the argument, you already know how draining co-parenting without boundaries can be.
It’s not just about the disagreements. It’s the constant mental load. The spirals after every message. The sense that your ex still has far too much power over your peace of mind.
Boundaries aren’t about controlling your ex.
They’re about protecting you.
Why Boundaries Matter in Co-Parenting
Boundaries give you space to breathe. They reduce the constant negotiation and firefighting. And most importantly, they allow your children to grow up in a calmer environment because the tension isn’t spilling over into their world.
But here’s the part most parents get wrong:
Boundaries don’t work if they’re focused on what your ex should or shouldn’t do.
They only work when they’re focused on your choices and your responses.
The Trap Most Parents Fall Into
You think: “If I can just get him/her to respect the agreement, things will get better.”
But waiting for your ex to change is like waiting for the weather to behave—it keeps you powerless and frustrated.
The shift comes when you stop asking, “How do I make them behave differently?” and start asking, “How do I protect my time, my peace, and my children’s wellbeing no matter what they do?”
A Simple Starting Point
Instead of over-explaining, justifying, or giving in, try this mindset shift:
“My boundary is about what I will do, not what they are allowed to do.”
For example:
Instead of: “You can’t keep changing the schedule.”
Try: “I can only consider changes made at least 24 hours in advance.”
See the difference? One sets you up for another fight. The other sets you free.
So Why Is This Still So Hard?
Because boundaries aren’t just about words, they’re about emotions. If you’re feeling exhausted, guilty, or anxious every time you try to hold one, it’s not surprising you slip back into old patterns. That’s where support comes in. You don’t just need a script, you need the strategies, mindset shifts, and emotional steadiness to actually follow through.
Ready to Take the Next Step?
If you recognise yourself here, constantly pulled into spirals, struggling to stick to boundaries, and desperate for more peace, it’s time to get some support. I offer low-cost strategy calls and a 12 week programme that will get your life back on track and protect your peace.
I help parents in high-conflict co-parenting situations set boundaries that actually work, so they can protect their peace and their children.
