Bedtime and Homework Drama
Homework battles. Bedtime struggles. Two of the most common flashpoints for parents, and when you add co-parenting into the mix, it can quickly turn into a tug-of-war.
I hear this a lot: “They let the kids stay up late and skip homework. Then I get stuck with tired, grumpy children who are behind at school.” Sound familiar?
Unfortunately, you can’t control what happens in the other household. You can only influence how you respond in yours and that’s where your real power lies.
The Homework Debate
One parent might insist homework gets done straight after school. The other might take a more relaxed approach or not care about it at all. Children quickly spot the difference and sometimes play one parent off against the other.
What you can do:
Stay consistent in your home. If your rule is homework before screen time, stick to it. Children thrive on consistency, even if it’s not the same in both homes.
Talk to the teacher if needed. Schools see this all the time. A quiet word with the teacher can make sure your child gets the right support, without making it a battleground between you and your ex.
Don’t criticise the other parent. Instead, say: “In our house, this is how we do it.” Simple, clear, no judgement.
The Bedtime Clash
Late nights at one house, early lights out at the other, it’s a recipe for grumpy mornings and endless debates.
What you can do:
Focus on wellbeing, not control. Frame bedtime as something that helps your child feel good and have energy for the next day, not as a rule for rule’s sake.
Keep your own routine. Children adapt and when they know what to expect in your home, it becomes easier.
Pick your battles. A later bedtime once in a while won’t undo everything. But if tiredness is affecting school or behaviour, that’s when it’s worth raising calmly with your co-parent.
The Bigger Picture
Arguments over homework and bedtimes often aren’t really about homework and bedtimes. They’re about control, frustration, and wanting to be heard. The more you fight over the details, the more your children feel caught in the middle.
Instead, ask yourself:
Is this worth the conflict, or can I let it go?
How can I show my children calm and consistency, even if it’s different from their other parent?
Children are resilient. They can cope with two households, two routines, and two sets of rules, as long as they feel safe, loved, and not stuck in the crossfire.
If homework and bedtime battles are leaving you drained, remember: you don’t have to solve this alone. My Co-Parenting Roadmap is a 12 week programme designed to help you handle tricky dynamics, set boundaries that stick, and bring more peace into your home.
